March 30, 2011

Confessions | Gainesville, FL Photographer

It is late as I write this, but to me it is early on in the night of work. In fact, I should be editing now and responding to emails but instead I am putting these thoughts on paper. Or screen, if you want to be technical about it. Who knows if this entry will ever see the light of day- the delete key is an easy one to hit and the post will be forgotten about in the land of unwritten words.

About an hour ago I was sitting here staring at the computer screen with a ball of anxiety welling up in my stomach over the amount of work that is in front of me for the evening, and for every evening for that matter. The bed calls me and I ignore it- I have to ignore it- because what I know there are people out there waiting to see the images created during their session or their wedding. I know my wake up call will come early- at the tune of 5 am for the littlest love in my life and again at 7 for my older one. I spend the daylight hours as Mom- bathing, feeding, playing, wiping tears and healing boo boos. Evenings I play wife to the most supportive husband in the entire world who understands the true passion that my once dream has become. Then the night comes… the very darkest hours of night when the clock actually says tomorrow. And that is when the real work begins.

Stressful jobs are something that I know well, having spent the last eight years of my life working as a firefighter/ paramedic. In fact, I welcome stress because that feeling makes you feel alive. Weddings are stressful, in a good way, making sure that you nail every image but yet still be a welcome observer of the day rather then a director of events. Portrait sessions can be stressful, convincing those I photograph to be themselves and relax for the camera, which is so much easier said then done!

I know I am not alone in the feeling that there are never enough hours in the day, or enough time to do it all. There are many other men and women probably sitting up working at their computer right now doing the same thing I should be doing.

So the anxiety was welling up and for a brief moment I thought about throwing in the towel for the evening and spending a few more hours in my bed then normal. “Just a few edits.” I promised myself as I sat down to the computer. I was, in fact, dreading the thought of work. But then as I pulled up the first image I was nearly blindsided by the overwhelming feeling of how very lucky I am to have been blessed with the gift of storytelling. The image on the screen drew me in and the look that the couple shared told a million stories in that single moment. And not only was I there to witness this moment, I was there to capture this moment. To make a memory. To process a photograph that will tell that story for years and years to come.

And here I sit, blown away by the blessings that I have been given in my life, one of many which is the gift of storytelling through my images.

Thank you, Lord, for the inspiration you have bestowed upon me this evening. And I do believe I will share this blog post, because so many people believe that photography is simply easy, a click of a button and a few swipes of a mouse and the images is there. There is so much more to it, so very much behind the magic that is sharing the emotion behind the moment you see.

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